Tea of Tranquility

A warm beverage can be incredibly comforting. Do you have this experience too?

As babies our primary nourishment is warm milk. We have the joy of feasting on milk multiple times throughout the day, and every time we need to eat we also get to be held by someone who loves us. The milk is warm, whether it comes from the mother or is heated on the stove.

So we naturally develop an association between warm beverages and comfort, connection, and safety.

As an adult, when we make space in our busy lives to sit down and just enjoy a cup of tea or coffee these same feelings can arise.

When I feel overwhelmed, my practice is to stop what I’m doing, and just notice the sensations in my body – tight chest, heavy head, racing heart, and clenched hands. To be able to have the attentional capacity to just notice what is happening means that it is then possible to do something different in the next moment. So I stop what I am doing, make myself a hot cup of tea, and find a comfortable place to sit and sip. Self-care!

Quite simple in theory, but it takes developing the attentional skills to be able to notice a feeling of overwhelm and do something about it in the moment. It also takes a strong intention to listen to what our BodyMind needs, coupled with a commitment to take care of ourselves.

During my career as a financial planner, I would typically start every day with a triple americano. Zshoom! I was working in a high stress, fast paced industry, which required me to be performing at the top of my capacity throughout the entire day. Sound familiar? So I justified the triple americanos and went to yoga after work each day to decompress. I was able to sustain this pace for about 8 years.

After I discovered the practice of Zazen meditation through a Zen monastery in southern Colorado, I could no longer pretend that the stressful life in Denver was working for me anymore.

I needed a change and I found a community and way of living that aligned with my worldviews. So I left my blooming career, sold my house and my car, and moved to the Zen monastery.

I no longer wanted to drink coffee while living a more contemplative, slower paced life. The effects of coffee were too jarring and no longer in line with in line with how I wanted to live. While I love the taste of espresso, I couldn’t ignore how jittery and anxious I felt afterwards; coupled with the increase in heart rate and this internal pressure to “get things done.” So I started drinking tea. Basically all the time.

I would have a cup of green tea upon waking at 4:20am each day, a cup of yerba mate after breakfast, and typically rooibos or chamomile in the afternoon. Tea time became a ritual. The ritual was inspired by the time of day and the season, a way to connect to the earth and land around us.

In the mornings, a time of stillness and soft light, was a time for yerba mate with raw honey, typically in my own space with a book or in the garden during the warm months. Often in the afternoon, upon waking from my daily nap (!), I would meet with friends to make an afternoon rooibos tea and rummage around in the kitchen for a sweet treat. The afternoon typically felt more social in the community, thus we had an unspoken accord to meet in the kitchen at 2:45 each day for tea and cookies. Well, the British also do this too, so I suppose it’s a thing!

How to incorporate warm beverages into your self-care routine:

Connect with your heart:

The simple practice of making a cup of tea is the cornerstone of my self-care practice.

While we cannot be held like a baby anymore and given warm milk, we can give this same feeling to ourselves by giving wholehearted attention to this mindful practice. How empowering!

Start with a cup that you LOVE. I have a whole cupboard full of curated cups from my travels. Between sips, hold the mug against your chest, feeling the warmth of the tea against your heart.

This is a practice I learned while studying Japanese tea ceremony – the cup is held at the heart or throat chakra – to connect with and awaken the sense of smell. Giving attention to not just the taste, but also the smell of the tea, the warmth of the cup, the color of the leaves, the silence (or sounds of your kids playing) of the room.

Try holding a warm cup of tea (or any bev!) to your heart. Maybe close your eyes. What do you feel? For me, this typically evokes a feeling of gratitude for being alive today and having the opportunity to connect to my heart in this moment.

Connect with a friend:

When was the last time you asked a friend to meet or come over for a cup of tea? Having tea or going for a walk is my favorite way to spend time with those I am close with.

Meeting and speaking over a pot of tea can be an intimate experience when you create a space that is free of distractions. This allows for deeper conversation and connection – something we inherently all crave in the midst of the over-stimulating, tech-driven culture we live in.

Warm beverages have been bringing humans together for centuries as a way to create a space for connecting. I can’t help but wonder how this is related to our experience as a baby, when we formed the paramount connection with our mothers while being fed.

Perhaps try inviting a friend over for tea on a day when your home will be quiet for at least an hour. Enjoy the ritual of picking out the type of tea, selecting the cups, and maybe even making a few cookies! Consider the time of day, weather, and season as you prepare – caffeinated or herbal, herbs that are earthy for autumn or refreshing for summer, etc.

Keep it simple by picking out a box of tea and a nice chocolate bar at the store, or prepare your own loose-leaf blend and make cookies. The point is to have tea with a friend, not get to get stressed out about it being perfect!

Remember: Gentle Leaps.

As you may have noticed, preparing to host a friend for tea is a self-care practice. It’s connecting you with your environment (indoor & outdoor), your body, and your mind. Plus you get to connect in a peaceful space with a friend of yours. I find this to be incredibly nourishing!

I would love to hear from you in the comments about how you create a connecting space for gathering with a friend, types of beverages you prefer, or how this simple self-care ritual made you feel. Happy warm beverages!